January 4th 2016-Reflections on a Chemo-Coma

04/01/16: Four days on from my second chemotherapy.

As I drift in and out of my chemo fuelled, steroid soaked coma-sick to my stomach, weepy and grumpy I feel lost.

I find myself in the midst of a vast, shoreless ocean. Thirsty and listless, no direction, no destination. Endless nothingness.

I am hollowed out by the toxins that infiltrate my bloodstream.
I am a shell, a husk, an empty vessel.

And then I’m drowning, panic hits me and I’m dragged down by the undertow of my malaise, submerged and overwhelmed…

This time passes.

I know it will pass.

…still…

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